Great Circle Associates List-Managers
(December 1998)
 

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Subject: Urban Legends
From: Rich Zellich <zellich @ STL-17LSSC . ARMY . MIL>
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 98 7:47:28 CST
To: list-managers @ GreatCircle . COM

Yes, I know this is off-topic to this list, but I figured that if
_anyone_ would appreciate this one, it would be this group.

Cheers and Merry [insert holiday of your choice here],
Rich
-------

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So
anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.  When he got out of the
tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on
his mirror that said  "Call 911!"  But he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his
computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
entitled "Join the crew!"  He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself
was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from
Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around.  His program will prevent a
global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute
the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true-I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and
$5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)  The poor man
then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys,
but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome
to the world of AIDS."  Luckily he was only a few blocks from the
hospital-the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the
one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail
and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every
e-mail he receives.  I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch
of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to
20 people you will have good luck but 10 people you will only have OK
luck and if you send it to less than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS).  So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without
its lights on.  To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was
promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. And it's a little-known fact
that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

-------


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